Unpleasantness

I managed to somehow fuck up my back again after making so much progress over the last eight months. This time, my issues are in a new location: T6-T8. About six weeks ago I started experiencing acute pain in the middle of my back. It felt like a deep bruise that wouldn’t go away. I attributed this to being more active with the warm weather, increasing my workout intensity, and not being nineteen anymore. The pain didn’t diminish though, even after taking it easy for a week here or a week there. Stubborn idiot that I am, I continued doing the things that I normally do. Guess what? The pain came back even worse than before. It started radiating around my rib cage if I turned slightly to the left or right or if I raised my hands over my head. Of course, I didn’t mention this to Lady Friend or anyone because I figured it would just go away on its own. I finally asked LF on Monday to take a look and see if she could see anything. She said, “Something doesn’t look right. It caves in in this one spot.” When she touched the spot on my mid-back, I saw stars (in a bad way).

Time to see my D.O.

I saw my D.O. Tuesday and also mentioned the headache that I’d had for almost two weeks. She looked at my nekkid back for about two seconds and made me see stars when she prodded the spot that’s giving me trouble. Her diagnosis: My spine is a mess and said she could not believe that I had been able to function for six weeks. I told her I’d been treating myself with denial because it’s amazing what you can get used to. She wrote me scripts for x-rays and an mri. She feels fairly certain the headaches are from nerve root pressure in my spine. What she can’t say for sure is if the pain is being caused a disc herniation, a vertebrae that’s stuck in flexion/rotation, or a compression fracture. Any or all of these things can be caused by doing things as uninteresting as exercising or opening a window. She thinks a compression fracture is unlikely because of my age, weight, and general good health and also because I didn’t have a trauma like a car accident.

My D.O. sent me directly to her own chiropractor after my appointment, hoping that I’d get some immediate relief. This particular chiropractor does the directional non-force technique, which means there’s no violent twisting or cracking involved. Let me just say that when he started working on the vertebrae in question and dug his fingers into the one spot, I started crying. Actually, it hurt so bad that I didn’t realize I had started crying. Normally I’d be really embarrassed, but sometimes some things hurt so bad that I lose all filters. Amazingly enough, I did get a decent level of relief. The radiating pain stopped almost immediately, which made putting my seatbelt on when I left a not-so-agonizing experience.

So here I am. I’m feeling mostly okay today. I don’t feel great, by any stretch, but I don’t feel worse. The pain is just sitting here all hot and angry in the middle of my back. I’m icing off and on and taking 1000mg of naproxen a day and that’s it. I had my x-rays and mri done a few hours ago and hopefully will have the results by Monday afternoon. To say I am a frustrated by this setback would be a bit of an understatement. I’m trying to hold back on all of my unpleasant thoughts and feelings until I get the preliminary results from my D.O. I swear, some days I really think about just letting myself go…maybe take up smoking, eating fast food three meals a day, drinking a case of soda while at work, and having wings and beer in between all of my meals and as a bedtime snack. I’ll throw out all of my workout gear and invest only in housecoats and slippers. I do live in Baltimore, after all, so no one would really notice the 24/7 housecoat thing. Something to think about, I guess.

Now it’s your turn to play doctor. Can you guess where my back problem is by looking at the following photo montage? I’ll give you some hints:

Local Observations

It’s been unusually quiet around here. I mean really really quiet. No alley transactions, no corner transactions, no pull-up-to-the-curb transactions, and no gunshots in the last week. Hell, there aren’t even any hookers around. I think this event has everything to do with it. Of course, I have to stay in touch with my cynical/realistic side. It’s only a matter of time until a new franchise comes to the neighborhood, but for now I plan on enjoying the relative peace and quiet.

Speaking of the intersection of Pratt and S. Carey (Scary) streets, the unSafeway at this location has a section by the deli that sells all kinds of random things for a dollar. There is a bin of bandannas in this section and I feel like it should be noted that the ONLY colors these $1 bandannas come in are red and blue. Umm…so what’s all this talk about Baltimore’s growing gang problem? What gang problem? Anyone out there who may shop at this particular unSafeway be warned - you may not want to wander over by the bargain bins because you never know when a Blood and a Crip may be shopping at the same time for new bandannas. I think that scenario has potential for a little unpleasantness.

My Netflix Reviews

Here you go…another round of my Netflix reviews. I have reviewed a couple of these movies in the past, but since I subjected myself to watching them again, I felt compelled to give them new reviews. Enjoy!

Gay Pride?

Another Summer, Another Crack Problem

As some of you know, I had a pretty serious crack problem last summer. You can follow these links if you’d like to read about the rising action, climax, and denouement. My rowhome is 137 years old, but everything inside has been updated (new electrical system, appliances, HVAC, plumbing, floors, walls, staircase, roof, and windows), except for the basement. You can’t really tell that the house is as old as it is until you go down into the basement and look at the beams and foundation. They definitely don’t make houses like they used to. This sumbitch is solid!

Point-n-Shoot Wednesday

The stars were aligned and schedules finally allowed Nurse J and me to hang out for an hour at the range.* I’m telling you, putting three-hundred rounds or so through paper targets is so much more relaxing than yoga for me. Since I’m still getting acquainted with my SIG 226R, I made sure to work her out tonight. There are no words to describe just how well she fits my hand and how smoothly she responds. I gotta say, she’s a classy broad all the way around and that makes honing my point shooting skills an absolute pleasure. Here are thirty rounds of point shooting at ten yards out:

We also ran into my Dad Crush at the range and he told us about an advanced marksmanship course that he and Lady Shooter will be teaching later this summer. You can believe I’ll be all over that like Angelina Jolie on a Third World orphan.

* Snay, you’re next.

NB Exit 51 Blues

Everyday on my way home from the cubicle ranch, I take NB I-95 and get off at Exit 51/Washington Blvd. And everyday there are always homeless guys sitting on the Jersey wall at the end of the exit ramp. They aren’t the aggressive panhandler types like you find at some traffic lights though. These guys just sit there with that vacant look that people have when you know they’ve simply given up. There is a small colony of people that have the same look and they live under the I-95 Washington Blvd overpass. You can see them as you exit off of Washington Blvd onto SB I-95.

Back in my younger days I used to be a semi-nice person. I’ll give you a moment to stop laughing…

Not So Fresh Feeling

We’ve got heat index values around 100 degrees in Baltimore today. I think I’m already chafing.

Vacation: Viking Style

One of my best friends is Norwegian and moved back to Oslo after finishing graduate school here in Baltimore. He’s my Viking Queen! I’ve never visited him in Norway before so, in light of some of the things going on in Baltimore, why not take a week-long time out in the nation that the UN Human Development Index ranks #1 for quality of life? I booked the trip last night via Icelandair because the rate was too good to pass up. So three months from now, I’ll leave BWI with a connection in Reykjavik and then it’s off to Oslo. Do you think it’s possible that I could be detained in Iceland or Norway and immediately sent back to the U.S. when they see “BALTIMORE, MARYLAND” in my passport?

Fitness Trail Symbols

Walking around the Carroll Park fitness trail each day, I come across these random wooden signs that have no explanation. I assume these signs are meant to demonstrate the exercises you’re supposed to do at those locations. Then again, since this fitness trail is here in Pigtown, I can’t be 100% sure. So taking the Carroll Park fitness trail in the context of my neighborhood, I had no other choice than to interpret these signs for myself.
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