Morning Landscape

The hookers and rats alley bunnies have all clocked out and gone home. Here is a gorgeous view of my alley as it experiences a rare quiet moment at 6:10 this morning:

Beat is Nitty-Gritty…

…the music’s in your city too!

It know it’s still technically spring, but Memorial Day weekend always feels like the start of summer for me. The warm weather has a strange affect on me in that it brings me out of my Boo Radleyness and makes me want to give everyone a big hug and (almost) be a part of the world. Hell, this kind of weather makes me want to hug some of you girls and boys out there for just a few uncomfortable seconds too long…

…but the best I can do right now is send out a carefully selected YouTube dedication. So this one is for all of the super smart-n-sexy ladies* and all of the devilishly fine fellas on my blogroll:

* And I especially dedicate this one to this weekend’s birthday girl.

Rainbow Rant

Have you seen the clip of the screaming match between Rosie and Elisabeth from ‘The View’ this morning? Wow.

I am writing this as a completely out lesbian: Rosie needs to be gagged. Immediately. In my opinion, she hurts gay people more than helps them. Every time she opens her mouth, I cringe and pray that none of my family, friends, or coworkers think she speaks for all gay people, especially gay women.

Have you ever noticed how Rosie loves to go after the low-hanging fruit, like Elisabeth Hasselbeck? I’ve always found it interesting that Rosie has no criticism of African American people or Jewish people. Apparently these groups of people are incapable of any kind of prejudice against gay people, so it’s not politically correct to criticize them in any way. However, calling out people for being Christian and non-liberal is fair game. Way to challenge yourself there, Rosie. Her arguments stem from emotion rather than reason, which means her “arguments” instantly turn into personal attacks. And personal attacks are really an admission of defeat in an argument. Personal attacks mean you have no reasons, just excuses. Very lame and, might I add, lazy.

Rosie is a really good example of why so many people have no love for the Homos. She pulls the gay card whenever someone White, Christian, and non-liberal challenges her opinions. She is the Al Sharpton of gay people, minus the velour Puma track suits. She speaks only for herself, not for the people she claims to represent. There are so many people out there who don’t know any gay people in real life. Their only exposure may be what they see on TV. Is it any wonder why a lot of people aren’t all excited about gay marriage?

Gay Pride?? Celebrate diversity?? Yeah right. Rosie is yet another fine representation of a gay person demanding tolerance and acceptance, yet not granting it to others who have values and opinions differing from her own. I’m no diplomat or anything, but I’m pretty sure this won’t win any allies. The snickering at and mocking of conventional Christian White people isn’t going to help anything along. Nearly all of my family members and most of my friends are White, Heterosexual, and Christian. I have to say that these people have been way more accepting of me than the gay community has. And like a good number of my gay brothers and sisters waving the rainbow flag of diversity, I have a pretty good feeling Rosie wouldn’t know what to do with someone like me.

Whatever.
——-

Dear Rosie,

From one dyke Mick to another - Will ye jus shut yer fuckin’ mout’ and quit yer fuckin’ cryin’? JAAAYsus, Mary, and Joseph fer fuck’s sake!!

Rainbow hugs,

Anger Hangover

Back from Branson - Part 2

Branson was awesome and we’ll definitely go back! Lady Friend and I had the best time. We really didn’t know what to expect, but we’re semi-adventurous gals, so we knew we more than likely have a good time no matter what. There was only a little bit of bad, so I’ll get that out of the way first.

Back from Branson - Part 1

Sunday night, Lady Friend and I went to see Loretta Lynn at the RFD-TV Theater in Branson, MO. It’s hard to explain just how amazing the experience was. People use the words “legend” and “icon” a lot, but I don’t think it always applies. In the case of Loretta, it’s just a shame that those two words aren’t quite adequate enough for describing her. I’ve had a few people say recently that they are surprised when they learn that I really love country music. I always have to stop and mention that I don’t like the overly slick Nu Country music though. I like the old twangy stuff. Really though, loving old country music isn’t as unlikely a fit for me as you might think. I’m completely drawn to the storytelling aspect of the songs and some artists, like Loretta, can really tell a story. The song “Coal Miner’s Daughter” is so brilliant in that Loretta gives you her entire life story in under three minutes and leaves you feeling like you really know everything you need to know about her. I’ve always wanted to see her in concert and hear her tell these stories live.

My Derby History

I was lame and didn’t take any pictures at the demolition derby last weekend, mainly because one hand was holding my beer and the other was holding my dog’s leash so he wouldn’t run onto the track. Thankfully ACW and NPR Junky took advantage of some photo ops!

I thought I’d go back and share the beginnings of my demolition derby love, which includes an eye injury. There are some pictures in some of the entries too:

August 2005

October 3, 2005

October 8, 2005

April 2006

May 2006

The demolition derby proves that dreams really do come true and I hope to see you at the next one. Let’s keep our feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars, everyone! Just don’t spill my beer.

Branson Bound!

Lady Friend and I leave at chirp-thirty tomorrow morning for Branson, Missouri. We have not gone anywhere since we flew down to Tampa for the Ravens/Bucs game last September. Although this weekend’s trip is a short one, it is much needed since we are both suffering from some serious job-related brain burnout. We booked this trip a month or so ago because we’ve both always wanted to see Loretta Lynn in concert and since Branson bills itself as “The Vegas of the Midwest located in the unspoiled beauty of the Ozark Mountains,” we couldn’t resist. We managed to find a condo resort on Table Rock Lake and the weather forecast is sunny and 78 degrees for each day we’re there!

We’ll definitely check this out and swell up like ticks in the process:
The Bluegrass & BBQ Festival At Silver Dollar City Bluegrass & BBQ sizzles with the sounds of American bluegrass music, along with the aromas and flavors of a huge all-American barbecue, including Kansas City-style, Memphis favorites, and Texas traditional barbecue.

Don’t ask and don’t tell, but I’m hoping Lady Friend gets lots of discounts around Branson:
Branson Women’s Veterans Week Date: 5/14 - 5/20/2007 By Proclamation of the Mayor of Branson; the Honorable Lou Schaefer named the third week of the month of May to be set aside annually to honor our nation’s Women Veterans.

But of course the main attraction for us is seeing The Van Lear Rose herself, Ms. Loretta Lynn:

An Expensive Monday

Auto maintenance is such a financial treat:

$44.03 Timing belt
$64.37 Accessory belts
$9.20 Gasket
$42.40 Valve cover gasket
$168.89 Muffler assembly
——
$328.89 Total parts

70.00 Labor for muffler assembly
$210.00 - Labor for timing belt and valve cover
——
$280.00 Total Labor

$32.00 Oil change
$5.00 Shop supplies
$16.45 Tax
—–
$53.45 Total Misc
—–

$662.34 Grand Total
—–

Let’s see, $662 roughly translates to:
- 66 people admitted to the demolition derby.
- 2 student loan payments.
- 132 hand jobs from a Washington Blvd hooker.
- 10 Brazilian waxes.

The number 662 is interesting because it also happens to represent:
- The total number of teeth in Pigtown.
- My cumulative SAT score.
- The fixed % APR on the credit card I used to pay for the car repair.
- The number of times per night that I hear ‘Pop Goes the Weasel’ from the “ice cream” truck.

Goth Monday

Yesterday my father graduated from the Wesley Theological Seminary with a Master of Theological Studies. He’s a very interesting guy to talk to over a few pints. The graduation ceremony was held at the Washington National Cathedral. I had never been to the National Cathedral before yesterday and I have to admit I was a bit overwhelmed by how massive and how beautiful the place is. If you’ve never been to this cathedral before, it’s got some pretty amazing Gothic architecture going on and definitely worth checking out. And even if you are a religion hater, I think there’s still a good chance you’ll feel humbled once you step inside. I sat way up high in the north balcony for the ceremony and I felt like a four year-old kid on six Mountain Dews and an entire box of Fruity Pebbles. No ability to sit still and focus on any one thing. Just staring up and around at all the gargoyles and stained glass windows, trying to jog my memory about the different stories and events the windows portrayed. As the sun moved across the windows, the stained glass became even more brilliant, which gave me eyegasm after eyegasm.

Behold!

So was it good for you too?

Question

Which came first, the chicken or the box?