Saturday afternoon I drove to the Fells Point area to meet my cousins for some daytime cocktails. I drove down Wolfe street and found a parking spot on the street near Wolfe and Fleet. I did what most people do in a parallel parking situation and I put on my turn signal, pulled a car length in front of the empty spot, and started backing in. With that, some yuppie cow came flying around the corner from Fleet Street and pulled right up on my ass in an attempt to claim the spot I was already backing into. I guess I was supposed to be intimidated or something. Whatever. I kept backing up and she threw up her hands in disbelief and begrudgingly moved her car. Keep in mind, there were other empty spots on the same block.
Before I was finished parking my car, she pulled up alongside of me and rolled down her window. Lady Friend was with me and I said, “This should be fun.” LF rolled down her window and the yuppie cow was shaking her head and laughing in a manner that has perhaps worked for her in the past in getting her way.
Cow: (in a near screech) “You do realize that this street is for residents only, don’t you?”
Me: “You do realize that we are city residents and anyone from anywhere can park here for two hours at a time, don’t you?”
Cow: “Well I just thought you should know.”
Me: “Heygreatthanksforthetip!”
And with that I gave her my exaggerated thumbs-up gesture, which is when I hold my elbow up at shoulder height as I give the thumbs-up. I also gave her my cheesy game show host smile à la Wink Martindale. I just stayed frozen in that pose until she drove away shaking her head and mumbling to herself.
Me: “I bet once upon a time she used to be pretty.”
LF: “That would definitely explain a lot.”
Monday, April 23, 2007 at 2: 12 pm
If I lived in Fells and had to fight it out for a parking spot everyday, I might go a little crazy, too….but geez! Good for you for having a witty response ready to put her in her place. I always become dumbstruck in the face of such stupidity only thinking of a good comeback after the fact.
Monday, April 23, 2007 at 6: 43 pm
I once had a similar incident in the parking lot of Eddie’s Supermarket on Charles Street (which should really be called “Yuppie Mart”). Well, I should have expected that.
What kind of car was she driving? Was it a typical Yuppie vehicle?
AH: I can’t remember the type of car she was driving, but it definitely had the obligatory Thule roof rack.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007 at 9: 57 am
I always try and remember in situations like these that if people’s lives are so devoid of meaning that they feel they need to police parking spots on their street… well, they desrve to be made fun of.