What is Romance? by A. Hangover

Romance is:

• getting roses at your office just because.
• long walks on the beach at sunset.
• candlelight dinners.
• making love during a thunderstorm and climaxing with Mother Nature.
• sharing your hopes and dreams.
• treasuring your partner’s spirit.
• finishing each other’s sentences.
• fumbling towards ecstasy together at a Sarah McLachlan concert.
• feeling like your souls are touching.
• remembering when and where you were the first time you kissed.

Did I have you worried? You should know me better than that by now!

Romance really is:

• showing some cleavage just because.
• not having your current girlfriend ask you to go to the Farmers Market to meet her ex-girlfriend and her ex-girlfriend’s new girlfriend.
• no unibrow two eyebrows and no uniboob two boobs.
• not having to sleep in the wet spot.
• ogling other women and men with your girlfriend.
• never asking “Where do you see this relationship going?” or “What are you thinking about right now?”
• skipping foreplay and pillow talk.
• knowing that yes, I do want another beer.
• brushing and flossing before coming to bed.
• a Clean Plate.
• never being Date Draped™ by your partner.*

* The act of Date Draping™ someone, also known as Aggressive Spooning™, is when you put an arm and leg around another person in bed and then smother them with your neediness.